Three Girls, One Death
HUTT SPACE, CHA RAABA--In breaking news, one Padme Smith, also known by the aliases Padme Traner, Padme Knight, and potentially a slew of other names representing past and former suitors, has been captured and slain by the Eidola Pirates.
Smith was the Force sensitive leader of item producing company, Nagatee Inc., and a duchess and Minister of Industry in the self-proclaimed monarchy that is the mercenary group, Nagatee Kingdom. Despite such titles and insinuations of wealth, none of the alleged royalty could produce any credits at all towards Smith's ransom, each citing extreme poverty--not even her own second or third or possibly seventh husband, Jeff Knight, a Coruscanti proclaiming himself a prince of Alderaan.
This operation was the result of five solid minutes of intense plotting between Anzati pirate, Syn, and the Iridonian Harlot Queen, Varlathotep Al`Jormungandr Ragnvaldansson. The latter, a Zabrak survivor of a particularly brutal Iridonian cloning camp and particularly lascivious Eidola pirate, lured Smith onto her Foray-class Blockade Runner with a seductive promise to let the hapless young human touch her horns. Stay tuned for the late night Outer Rim News Report for explicit details and restored video footage surrounding what occurred on board the vessel during the two-week hypertrip following Smith's capture.
Varlathotep Al`Jormungandr Ragnvaldansson, insistent on the usage of her full name in adherence to some unusual but probably legitimate cultural Iridonian custom, subsequently delivered Smith deep into Hutt Space, not far from the Cha Raaba system, where the Force user was taken into custody by Syn. The human was then allegedly used for a short time as a human meat shield and eventually murdered, due to what the Anzati cited as "her constant high-pitched complaining."
According to the unlikely Anzati and Zabrak duo, Smith's extensive Force powers included and were likely limited to the ability to blow her hair out of her face using the Force, and the ability to make remarkably questionable life decisions.
With the standard stereotypical condolences offered only somewhat sarcastically to Smith's surviving family members, lovers, friends, and employees, Syn has generously made the corpse available for pick up on Ylesia, promising Smith's acquaintances "a slim to moderate chance of surviving the retrieval." She declined to comment on the current condition of the body.