Failed research

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Following memo was distributed by the Royal Court of Hapes to all Hapans. This copy was generously provided by Jennifer Dreighton.

To: All Hapans, especially military
From: King James
Good day everyone.
Unfortunatly, Lt Cmdr QuiGon has been disrupting the peace in hapes recently. He has caused a lot of trouble and I have a number of files/reports on chats from him, where he does nothing else than whine and cry about not being promoted.
It is unfortunate, because I am starting a new regime. It is very much like that of the CORE. Hapes doesn't need you, you need hapes. You see, only those that are good enough stay. Although my level is not high for this, Lt Cmdr Quigon along with Reveral Grus just didn't make it. Reveral was banned from the combine anyway, so not my doing.
As for Lt Cmdr QuiGon, he fell way under my level of duties. Lack of thinking and a big mouth are not a good combination.
Ltcmdr quigon.jpg
Well, Professior Penetrator and myself decided to make an experiment with him. We wanted to make him happy and promote him. We stuck him in the rank converting machine, which was unfortunatly defect and turned it on.
The Lt Cmdr now thinks he is a grand admiral and is having all the fun you can imagine on a wild planet in a hapan system. Unfortunatly the machine did not only mess with his brain, but also with his DNA structure. We seemed to have created an unknown specie out of him as you can see in the attached picture.
The Lt Cmdr has been removed from the hapan military and it's infrastructure. We classified him as an unknown animal and is no longer a hapan member. He is now a happy "animal" on a planet not too far away, making his own rules and ordering the trees around thinking they are navy ships. If you speak to him, I am sure he will be grumpy with you, as his brain now thinks anyone with a uniform wants his position. Ignore his whining and crying for your own sake.
I am sure he will have a nice life and a happy one now. Thanks to hapes experiment R&D of course.
- King James