You'll not be anybody's doxy, harlot
Good evening, ladies and gentle-beings, this is Kyrn Heoru-Gard of the Galaxy News Corporation. Our top story tonight is the terrifying kidnap and murder of Dragon Armoured Transportation CEO and President, Joni Yuma. The illegal terrorist organization known only as “Eidola” has claimed credit for this crime, and released a propaganda video. Viewer discretion is advised:
The Holo-Comm signal cuts to static, and rematerializes into a single, silhouetted figure. He steps into the light of the Holo-Camera, and is revealed to be a scarred man in battered-looking black and orange armour. He smiles like a wolf. “Beings of the galaxy,” he says, his voice like scraping cinders “I am Warlord Squall Chitose, the Harvester of Sorrow, the Death of Hope. I am pleased to inform you of Eidola’s triumph against Imperial running-dog lackey Joni Yuma and her pathetic bootlickers in Dragon Transportation.”
The camera pans out, and shows a huddled mass on the floor, which appears to be a Kaminoan. She has clearly been poorly-treated, and whimpers in fear as Chitose moves close to her. Tears stream from her large, empty eyes. In the shadows lurks a man in what appears to be Mandalorian armor. His crossed-arms and harsh demeanor show his lack of concern, or even emotion.
Chitose clears his throat, and proclaims “This Galaxy has long suffered under the oppression of the Galactic Empire. Joni Yuma was not a member of the Empire, but was a loyal supporter. While claiming to be running a simple courier business, she regularly offered her services, of both kinds, to members of the Imperial Union. By word and deed, both Yuma and Dragon Transportation proved themselves to be nothing more than a front for Imperial evil, another way for the false Emperor to spread his filth throughout the Universe. They provided logistical support and information to the Empire on more than one occasion. For their crimes against the free Galaxy, they had to pay.”
“I infiltrated her pathetic excuse of a company. I had planned to lie in wait and gain information to use against the Empire, but her hypocrisy and vile flattery overwhelmed me...and I was never too good at anything but killing anyway. She tried to flee, but with the help of some special friends, we captured her. ”
Squall unsheathes a large combat knife. It glints manically as he tests the blade against his thumb, and steps behind his victim.
Yuma’s whimpers become sobs.
“Joni Yuma, you have committed countless crimes against all free beings. You have murdered, and aided murderers. But rejoice, for your death will serve as a warning to all those who would follow in your footsteps. No more can anyone believe that serving the forces of terror is the path to a quick profit. Justice will find them, no matter how they try to hide.”
Blade facing outwards, Squall shoves the knife into her throat, and in one clean motion rips it free. Blood spatters the Holo-Cam, partially hiding the obscene sight of Yuma's head hanging loosely from a single flap of skin and muscle. Her body falls lifelessly to the floor and out of view.
“Eidola is the face of freedom in this galaxy. All those who would place the Galaxy in chains will suffer our bite!”
THE LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK, AND LEAVES THE SCREEN IN STATIC.
AS OF THIS DATE, THE GALAXY NEWS CORPORATION HAS NOT YET BEEN ABLE TO CONFIRM THE DEATH OF JONI YUMA. NO OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN MADE BY DRAGON ARMOURED TRANSPORTATION, NOR BY THE EMPIRE. STOCK MARKET REPORTS, HOWEVER, REVEAL THAT THE SO-CALLED WARLORD KNOWN AS “SQUALL CHITOSE” HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN APPOINTED LEADER OF DRAGON TRANSPORTATION. WE CAN ONLY ASSUME THAT YUMA IS DEAD, AND WOULD LIKE TO OFFER OUR SINCERE CONDOLENCES TO HER FAMILY, AS WELL AS OUR HOPE THAT THE EMPIRE WILL SOON BE ABLE TO RID THE GALAXY OF THE EIDOLON PLAGUE. STAY TUNED, SPORTS AND WEATHER ARE UP NEXT. AFTER THE BREAK, SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT AMUN SOKAR WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO BRIGHTEN UP YOUR SHIP WITH OUTER-SPACE BASKET-WEAVING!