Cantrell Chronicles - Spot of Tea Gov'na?

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Posted by: Lara Navos, Cantrell Institute of the Arts
Date: Year 23 Day 61 Onboard the Zoo Station Cantrell Orbital Campus in system Ord Cantrell (-21, 264).

Ord Cantrell, Fath The latest news from Ord Cantrell and the galaxy at large comes to you from a modified Techno-service Droid known by the designation Cheeto-A2. Under the restraint of the Cantrell Institute of the Arts, it provides public statements and news as it's transmitted throughout monitored communication protocols.

The mysteries of the Jawa came with a dramatic reveal

A commotion was felt throughout Highhall today when a local Jawa merchant was forced to disrobe after it caught fire during a vehicular inspection. While Cantrell Internal Security was quickly on hand to aide and extinguish the flames, onlookers were horrified and confused, with citizens and tourists alike having never seen the diminutive race without a robe before. Media sources interviewed one witness shortly after the incident:

"Fa ritke ye wanya hee bkhonse, bacaka wa kaae dhapee mo kaa. Jee gee nobata heee bai kankahuesa mee chetpheda fa, uba ritke gee bai doth heee."
Huttese Translation: "It just looks so bizarre, like a little nub or something. I have no way to really describe it, you just had to be there."

The Cantrell Institute of the Arts has commented, with the newly instated Provost advising, they will offer free counseling and psychiatric services to the Jawa impacted in the incident and any onlookers traumatized by the events of the fire or seeing the Jawa in its true form. While medical services have felt no significant impact since the event, mining surveyors observed a rather crispy Jawa making haste toward a Sandcrawler and could not be reached for comment.

A Red Lotus Flower present within Ord Cantrell's wetlands

Recently reporters and dignitaries sat down with Red Lotus religious leader, Harmonia de Chatillon, to understand the latest beverage-taking Ord Cantrell by storm. While curiosity about the tea was palpable, many also wanted to gather a greater understanding of what makes Red Lotus different from the other more mainstream religions prevalent within the galaxy today.

The Kiffar was very welcoming and open to all questions, commenting specifically on the religion, stating that "Red Lotus itself is a Church that promotes the Polytheistic belief that the Spirits inhabit everything. The Spirits help to guide those that can hear them. Anyone can become a follower of Red Lotus, and we do not turn any away, regardless of politics, financial status, or race." Its welcoming nature was echoed throughout the beautiful woman's conversation, even having several recruiters stating their intent to visit the church within the near future to participate in the fabled High Tea Ceremony.

Guests and dignitaries to the discussion were granted a brief tour of a prominent Red Lotus church while also receiving a brief glimpse into the Red Lotus plants. Invitees were not granted access to a farm directly due to their highly cared for and quarantined nature, instead being shown a small plant growing in isolation for demonstration purposes. Ms. de Chatillon elaborated further on the famed Red Lotus flowers by stating "The red lotus flower was previously found only on Kiffex and Kiffu and had been used by Priests and Priestesses for millennia to help them commune with the spirits. When brewed into a tea and consumed, the drinker opens themselves up to a higher consciousness, that allows the Spirits to speak to or through them."

It's believed reporters and guests were offered Red Lotus tea to experience the professed higher consciousness; however, none could accurately recount their experience, given its highly possessive and secretive spiritual communication. No doubt someone will be able to explain this further in the future; however, the experiences remain shrouded in mystery to the galaxy at large.

While the prospect of seeing someone arrested in Tortuga is relatively high on any given day, Cantrell Internal Security was bemused today to find a local merchant attempting to sell a product called 'Breathe Easy'. The product blurb detailed a product that provided artificial oxygen from the Kel Dor homeworld of Dorin via a one-time injection, allowing the alien form to avoid using an oxygen mask. Under the assumption that the substance was counterfeit, scientists undertook testing to determine its legitimacy. Results indicated that the gas had no oxygenic components within its compound, instead simply being Thala Siren milk, converted into a gas form.

After surveillance operations successfully tracked the merchant, Kip Zortuna, to a warehouse on the outskirts of town, a raid was conducted on the property to apprehend the suspect and their supply of counterfeit gas. Upon securing the facility, security officials confiscated upwards of forty-seven Thala Siren's, chemical conversion equipment, along with numerous completed canisters and a bizarre collection of calendars entitled, 'Thala, They'll Ring Your Siren'. Operatives logged the counterfeit material and equipment for processing while the Thala Sirens were taken to a local Wildlife Preserve. Arresting officers promptly destroyed the calendars out of respect to the Thala Sirens and the lack of desire for explicit material to be distributed publically.

Hooligan Arrested in Tortuga Over Thala Siren Scam

Mr. Zortuna now faces upward of twenty-seven galactic cycles within the confines of a Cantrell Prison if determined guilty, but his ability to engage with Thala Siren's was swiftly provoked through the initiation of a restraining order against the species, a charge that would be in effect throughout all of the Fath Sector and surrounding, allied sectors. Mr. Zortuna could not be reached for comment.

While a pirate's life is often viewed as complicated or dangerous, specific individuals have been able to reap the rewards from such a walk of life and grow fabled reputations and legacies many only dream of. One such individual coordinates the pirate band known as the Eidola Pirates. We're speaking specifically of the woman named Syn, also known as Syn Naranek, Syn Becket, and Syn Becket-Fe`ll, among others.

Syn, Sin, Sam, Whatever

When not capturing Imperial Executors or taming her numerous wild creatures, pirates and animals alike, she will occasionally find the time to speak her mind. Recently, droid protocols successfully intercepted a conversation between the Anzati and an unknown individual. The conversation was jovial and entertaining, with the Pirate Queen joking about how her Super Star Destroyer was relatively untouched these days, due to a common flaw - "I can't remember the access codes to at least half the rooms anymore, so I just don't go to that half of the ship. I'm quite fond of the entryway because it doesn't have an access code to remember. The brig is nice, too, because it doubles as a buffet."

Thanks to the Metamorphosis Plague, questions followed in the conversation around her adjustment from Falleen to Anzati. Her fellow conversationalist was curious whether the plague also injected the various rituals and common ability known as 'soup' from one race to another through the transition. Syn was heard laughing, responding with "'Rituals' makes it sound so cultish, but a girl's got to eat." Given her previous responses, medical dossiers have been updated to reflect the notion that the plague does indeed open the mind up to the new host races' habitudes.

While the conversation concluded soon after, relaid information around the habits of one Warlord Squall Chitose, practices that may have explained how he indeed survived the famed Battle of Beta many years ago. The unknown individual asked in a curious, cheeky manner if "...have you seen Squall get out of the shower? Does he overcompensate?", Syn contained her laughter long enough to answer the question in an equally cheeky manner - "I have not, because Squall doesn't shower. When it gets too bad, a couple of people usually try to hose him down while he's passed out." Historians could not verify Warlord Chitose's involvement with the Battle of Beta outside of what was documented and whether he was spared due to his possible lack of personal hygiene.

Our final report finds protestors and security organizations forming blockages around the planet of Polus in the Avindia sector as vigilantes, bounty hunters, and concerned sentients alike respond to the threat known publicly as 'L4anc3r T0rp011'. Due to the widely publicized threat, many locals and traveling Pengauani have faced increased discrimination. Additionally, some in the galaxy are unclear if the target is an aquatic avian or an incredibly well-engineered cyborg or droid.

Despite local governments trying to subdue the threat with publications of the agents' apprehension, conflicting reports from various corners of the galaxy has not inspired confidence in those wanting to see the true Lancer Torpoli returned unharmed. While the Joint Polar Governing Committee could not be reached for a statement, many across Imperial Union sectors have been identified burning the Gungan Prince in ephagy, believing he was indeed the hooded culprit which orchestrated the daring abduction, playing both sides of the conflict for political and financial gain.

L4nc3r, I hardly know her!

While little intelligence has been made public since the crime occurred, those broadcasting these messages wish to promote safety and security for all those seeking to end the threat, recommending agents enlist followers and mercenaries to avoid becoming easy prey for the mysterious assailant. For any individuals struggling to find comrades to go to arms with them in their quest for Lancer, Ord Cantrell recommends the services of Cantrell Consulting, Orbital Research and Design, and Archangel Armaments & Equipment for your required comrades, transport, or military hardware.

This concludes our transmissions from and around the Fath Sector. Cheeto-A2 will now power down and recharge until new orders are communicated.