Empty-headed fools and their common fate death

Posted by Gunther von Esling on Year 5 Day 230

Onboard the Victory Star Destroyer I Iron Fist in system Coruscant.

The image of the Imperial Throne appears, it is unoccupied right now. The view zooms out and reveals a smaller chair, left from the Throne, and located on a lower platform, which seems occupied. The view zooms in on that chair and a cloaked figure puts his hood back. Lord Executor Gunther von Esling speaks in person.

"Pirates. Since when do they care about anything but themselves? They are hardly known for their compassion, mercy or desire for order where chaos reigns. Yet still, certain pirate bands succeed to sow hope and glory in the minds of the young, the weak, the innocent and the unintelligent. Allow me to show you what the steadfast reaping of this is... "

His right hand raises and the image is replaced by footage shot by on board equipment of Imperial cockpits. The screen is divided into several parts and each shows similar footage. The backdrop is here a TIE Interceptor's cockpit, there a TIE Fighter's and on one screen an AT-AT cockpit. The Lord Executor's voice continues to be heard.

"As you can see, the pilot or squadron leader usually removes his or her helmet and unlocks the entrance(s) to his cockpit."

The image indeed shows a similar action on all screens.

"Then, a pirate would *cough* welcome the fool in their band of merry rapists and thieves."

The images all show a face peek into the cockpit, usually covered by a piece of dark cloth, so as to only reveal the eyes. You see the cloth move, as if the person speaks. The pilot smiles and goes about to take off his gloves and unlock his belt buckles. He then looks to the pirate's face to find himself staring down the barrel of a blaster pistol. The first shot takes out the pilot's brain, the second the on board cam. The static remains for about two seconds, and is then replaced by the former image of the Imperial Throne room.

"Anyone who is foolish enough to pilot his or her military equipment inside a hostile container deserves a fate far worse than death by hands of pirates. These men and women are lucky not to have fallen into His Majesty's or my own hands. Let this be a warning to any other empty-headed fool who thinks they are the exception to this blood-stained rule."

"Imperial Research and Development is looking into ways of using the control we still have over the ship's computers to make the pirates pay dearly for their theft of Imperial hardware. In the meanwhile, we cordially invite them to capture more of our vessels. The Imperial Security Bureau, Imperial Intelligence and MJ-12 have even asked for budgets to start operations that will place more minor hardware into pirate hands. They somehow claim it will help their efforts greatly. In the meanwhile, Imperial industry does not even specifically have to direct efforts to replace the hardware we lost; current production capacity vastly outnumbers the minute losses."

"All in all I thought to actually thanking the pirates for their weeding out of fools from our ranks, but the Ministry of State thought it bad PR to do so. Therefore I will refrain from that particular statement."

The Lord Executor reaches for his hood and moves to put it back on, but hesitates.

"Oh and would you kindly weed out those few weaklings you have captured as well?"

He places the hood back on and the image fades out.