The Galactic Dictionary predicts "an better tommorrow" thanks to Uebles' revisions.
Posted by Reajiad Nero on Year 0 Day 0
Onboard the Dreadnaught Heavy Cruiser JP Zaibach at galactic position (62, 206).
In recent news, the Galactic Dictionary has sent continuous apologies to the Emperor Uebles for its failure to compensate for his frequent corrections to what is and is not grammatically correct.
"The Emperor's word is law," Explains President of the Galactic Dictionary's Revision and Updates Council, Tyler Holmes, "So we need to make sure that law gets translated into the most recent dictionary volume. However, since Uebles became Emperor, we have needed to make new volumes weekly. Recently that has increased to every announcement. We're having some issues."
One haggard Council Member by the name of Mark Vanderhall, states, "The Emperor likes to surprise us. For example, his most recent changes in the dictionary include the allowance of 'an' before a word starting with a consonant, such as 'firing squad', not requiring anything to come before 'whom' anymore, such as 'with whom' or 'for whom' (now you can use it just as you use 'who', because it makes you sound fancier and more intelligent anyway), and the addition of 's' to the end of a word that can be used to be both singular and plural, such as 'Jedi' or 'Sith'... These are now, 'Jedis' and 'Siths', changing millennia of practice." Rather than seem upset, however, Vanderhall seemed in awe. "Emperor Uebles knows everything. He is changing things, but be sure it is for the better. The Emperor worked day and night to get where he is today, and is the most powerful of the Sith... Sorry, Siths, due to his diligence. He has knowledge beyond any of our wildest imaginations. Just because we don't understand it, doesn't mean he's not right. The Emperor is here to tell us what's right and wrong, and last thing I heard, he hasn't told anyone that he was not right."
Other changes have included updates to the Propaganda machine of the Galactic Empire, which is now fully authorized to make up names and identities. This reporter is guessing that one former Imperial Minister of Propaganda, Victor von Ismay, is upset that it had not happened sooner. It certainly makes anyone's job easier.
As for the corrupt Jedi Praxium, they have decided not to accept the changes in the Dictionary, and have recently gained a frown from the Revision and Updates Council.
States Holmes with a concerned smile, "I'm sure Emperor Uebles, who is 'an' greatly compassionate man, would be upset by this challenge. I am sure that these so called 'Jedis' are being influenced to challenge us where it is obvious, and the Jedi Praxium's weeks of 'propaganda' (previously known as 'relative quiet and truth when making announcements'
