The Grandest Fester

The Grandest Fester
Biographical Information
Race	Unknown
Homeworld	Unknown
Physical Description
Gender	Unknown
Height	Unknown
Political Information
Affiliation	Unknown

Galactic Champion, Grandest Champion, Galactic Grand Champion, Grandest Galactic Champion, Victorious Conqueror of Known Galas. The Grandest Fester has as many names as festivals across the galaxy, all earned by his uncanny penchant for unparalleled victory.

Having no known affiliations or machinations, the mysterious being known as the Grandest Fester can be found across the galaxy wherever there is a party or merriment afoot, regardless of invitation. Within such celebrations, the Grandest Fester will usually be found invested in whatever games of sport or chance are available, using the Force to dart around the field of contest to win as many games as possible. His attire makes him easy to spot: A red hood in Life Day colors shrouding shiny black Mandalorian armor and a brace of lit candles from the Naboo Festival of Light tied to his head with a Boonta Eve racer’s bandana — which is primarily there to keep other people’s sweat off his visor as they struggle to keep up.

Galaxy Festival Grandest Champion Y21

The Moon Quantxi, first place prize of Galaxy Fest

The Grandest Fester gained much renown during the Galaxy Festival of Y21. Competing gleefully and spiritedly in all festival activities—from chasing an evasive purple balloon to mastering dizzying brain games—the Grandest Fester secured a total of 3,816 event tickets to emerge as the first Galaxy Fest Grandest Champion. Setting a record win, the Fester was awarded the moon Quantxi as his grand prize. Perhaps the real prize for the Fester, however, was the simple joy of competing in the largest galactic competition in over a thousand years and coming out on top. It is rumored that after the event the Fester was seen flying peacefully to his prize moon on the back of a majestic Purrgil, while others instead insisted they saw the Gal Fest Grandest Champion speeding away on his newly acquired prize Acclamator filled with Rancors.

Winter Festival Grandest Champion Y23

Winter Fest quickly piqued the interest of the Grandest Fester, where he spent time in the City of Otoh Tipoca and the Winter City securing yet another successful round of impressive wins across the board. When he wasn’t throwing snowballs, fetching soup, or speeding about the race track, the Grandest Fester could be found in the Thunderdome dueling anyone in his path with little to no rest.

The Twenty-One

Not all excitement at the Winter Festival came from games and planned events, however, and the Grandest Fester found himself rallying as one of the intrepid Twenty-one to bring down the Falcon during the Night of the Long Feathers. This was but a warm up for what was to transpire at the end of Winter Fest, when Lancer’s evil clone, L4nc3r, was set loose in the Winter City. The Grandest Fester joined forces with other festival-goers, not resting until the abomination was driven away; a scene which was captured in the famous painting, The Battle of 6969696969.

The Battle of 6969696969

A fierce competitor in all Winter Fest activities, both real and jovial, the Fester won the most winter candy prizes overall, and while no grand prize was awarded upon the conclusion of the event, the Grandest Fester still left with his sled packed to the brim with data cards to fill his many shipyards.

Winter Quest Y24

The most recent sighting of the Grandest Fester was when a call from Chiss Cringle was put out for assistance to save Life Day. The Fester was seen assisting Cringle by merrily distributing gifts to sad orphaned children, while some also spotted him working diligently to repair the Cringlemobile. While the spirit of winter cheer was the main incentive for participation, the Fester also found cheer in his reward of a shiny new Razor Crest.

Other Sightings

The Grandest Fester has been sighted as a recurring participant in a variety of events, festivals, and holidays throughout the galaxy, be it celebrating Life Day, racing in the Boonta Eve Classic Podrace, setting off fireworks at the Naboo Festival of Light, or carousing during All-Species Week. While his whereabouts and long term place of residency remains unknown, what is certain is that if one wishes to meet or entreat with the Grandest Fester, all that is needed is to throw a magnificent and well attended celebration, and to lace it with a decent amount of competitive party games.

Catching the most fish during the Fishing Festival on the Forest Moon of Endor

The Cult of the Festers

Bust of the Grandest Fester

The exploits and escapades of the Grandest Fester have amassed a following of fans and fanatics spanning galaxy wide, which has come to be known as the Cult of the Festers. Those with a love for competition and a predilection for self-indulgent pleasure-seeking are particularly drawn to the Grandest Fester, seeing him as a symbol of their idealized hedonistic lifestyle and a figure worthy of their worship.

Meetings of the Festers are said to occur in the dark of night, where they don crimson hoods in worship of their idol and fire off party poppers in bizarre occult formations while invoking the name of the Grandest Fester to guide them. While often times their meetings devolve into high-stakes hands of sabacc, those in the Cult of the Festers dedicate most of their time to training, testing both the physical limits of the body in order to compete in trials of strength and the far reaching capabilities of the mind in order to outsmart any opponent in games of intellect. Those in the higher levels of this mysterious cult take up the Grandest Fester’s likeness to compete in festivals and events in his name, spreading the legend of the Fester and bringing him glory and honor with their every success.

Possible Identities

The true identity of the Grandest Fester remains unknown; none have ever seen what lies beneath the Fester’s regalia. Some are convinced he is a hut with a peg leg, while others swear he must be a shaved wookiee or a geonosian who’s clipped his wings. Even a few would bet that the Fester is actually three Ewoks stacked on top of one another, skillfully operating the facade. One thing people tend to agree on, however, is that the Fester is extremely old, as his reported sightings span many decades. This has led some to believe that he could actually be the reincarnation of the Arkanian Trickster Spirit, unbound by his promise of freeing Arknania and delighting in the pleasures of the galaxy, finally at peace. Though, still, this theory remains just that, with some still convinced the Grandest Fester is nothing but an old and toothless woman, bored with her everyday life. Whatever the true identity of this mysterious figure, what remains certain is that their presence will remain active across the galaxy, wherever a good party is to be found--and in general, they are better than everyone else.

Coruscant police sketch from eye-witness Empire Day attendee

Legends

- Champions are the breakfast of The Grandest Fester.
- The Grandest Fester drinks a blaster pack in the morning instead of cup of caf.
- The Grandest Fester plays ale pong with thermal detonators.
- The Grandest Fester sleeps with a pillow under his blaster.
- The Grandest Fester doesn't go to kids birthday parties anymore because parents kept giving him the gifts instead.
- Legend has it The Grandest Fester doesn’t have a bellybutton, because no mother’s hips are wide enough to birth his level of success.
- The Grandest Fester doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
- When The Grandest Fester took over Quantxi, their chief export became pain.
- When The Grandest Fester trains with a remote, the remote gains experience.
- The Grandest Fester once got an idiot's array in pazaak.
- The hyperspace disturbance was originally created to keep The Grandest Fester out; it didn’t work.
- The Grandest Fester once won a festival without even attending.
- Life day is actually about thanking The Grandest Fester for letting the galaxy live.
- Manaan was created when the Grandest Fester needed a bigger cup for his drinking game.
- When The Grandest Fester lands on Tatooine the jawas don’t junk his ship, they junk theirs and give him the parts.
- A sarlacc pit once fell into The Grandest Fester.
- The Grandest Fester is DLC content for Dejaric boards, but is banned from tournament play because he can wipe the board on the first turn.
- The Grandest Fester invented Hyperspace when he kicked someone so hard it broke the speed of light.

The Grandest Fester taking Lancer into protective custody after rescuing him from the cloning facility on Otoh Tipoca.