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Posted by Teniel Djo on Year 0 Day 0

Onboard the YT-510 Gr

Biotech, reknowned for its chains of galactic hospitals and massage parlours, issued a news release after giving the topic nearly 4 minutes of half-hearted thought as to what they should say. Teniel Djo, leader of the group, said she felt it was wise to boost her own sense of self-importance in the galaxy by making this startling announcement.

Teh poorly spelt article outlined nothing of any real import to the galaxy, or even anything that any citizen of any sector could possibly give a nerf about. Comprehension on the article was made more difficult by the fact the spokesperson interjected randomly "I am really cool, look at me!" when asked questions pertaining to varying subjects by members of the assembled press.

This shocking news was accompanied by seemingly random images that Biotech believed would somehow impress readers of the Galactic News Service, with their supposed relevance and bright colours.

Sadly, this announcement by Biotech came on the eve of far sadder news, the percentage of galactic beings who even bother to read the Galactic News Service anymore, has reached an all-time low, as demonstrated below.