Imperials Go Home

The following anti-Imperial propaganda article was posted to the Rebel Alliance News site by Architext on Year 1 Day 104.

"Don´t worry... you will be cursed by Imperials because you are not organized like them... we can afford to let them scoff... they spend their time trying to form everyone up into neat little rows and efficient little squares... Don´t worry... the Rebel Alliance spends its time protecting the Galaxy from the scourge of the Evil Empire... and rolling it back into the dustbin of history where it belongs.

The Galactic Empire wastes its time organizing, centralizing, communizing itself and whatever it can grasp... The Rebel Alliance spends its time winning, planning how to win, and winning again... We win against tyranny... and we win protection for the Rights of Individuals that otherwise would have been tickled into hysterical laughter by the frantic gumming of that fanatical zombie dog... the Evil Empire.

Please do not laugh at the Evil Empire too much... even though they spend their recreation time honing their skills at Goose-stepping... we don¹t want them to die of shame... We want them to go back to their homes and farms that they left behind when they started bearing arms against the Peoples of the Galaxy...

The Empire insists on bossing People as if they were farm animals... the Empire shows so much increasing skill in this, perhaps the Evil Empire started out as a College of Animal Husbandry... Perhaps it is the Imperial Pig-farming heritage they draw these regimentation skills out of...

Imperials have honed their Pig-farming skills in their long boring years of being regimented and regimenting the Peoples of the Galaxy... It would be best for Imperials to retire from tyranny-mongering and return to the easy trades and honest crafts they left behind...

Does a Imperial Adult show interest in a monomaniacal castration crusades against the right of self-defense? Encourage them turn their passion towards the peacetime pursuit of Cow breeding... does a Imperial Adult show interest in regimentation? Encourage them turn their passions towards the peacetime pursuit of Pig-Farming... does a Imperial Adult show interest in being obedient to a Master? If the condition of their spirit is really as bad as that then encourage them to Marry and have Families and learn how to be obedient to their wives... but encourage them to have only one wife... for no man can have two masters."

— Galactic Times NewsStack - Editors Desk